Thursday, November 23, 2023

Thanksgiving 2023

I’ve had a lot of rough days. Today being yet another one to add to this list. I can barely remember what last year was. Olivia was a year old. Jerrolyn hosted her first thanksgiving Christmas at her house. She was so disappointed because so many family members didn’t end up going. She was so frustrated. 

We were weeks away from the Disney cruise. I was so excited for that. Allan was able to play with Olivia for a short amount of time. Emily got glitter all over the house. 

It’s just so crazy how my life has completely changed. Not only do I not recognize my life now but I never would have imagined it. It just doesn’t seem real. I always feel as if I could lose it all. 

I do wish I could have spent time with Glenn at least. But he was doing his thing and I wasn’t sure if Jay would be okay with me inviting anyone except my kids. But Glenn was cooking already. So that wasn’t possible  but maybe for Christmas? Or something around it. 

Breath. Don’t let jerrolyn get to you. I’m not going to any of her functions until we talk. I’m not going to keep acting like nothing happened, I don’t like the way she handles this every time. It just keeps happening over and over again. 

He just made a popping sound and with his mouth and the walls of my vagina responded? WTH 


Thursday, November 2, 2023

November 2nd

The most unique thing about our relationship? I know with no doubt there is NOTHING he wouldn’t do for me. I’ve never felt like that with anyone. Anything I want or need him to do? He’d do it. No questions asked. To be honest I think the more challenging the demand the more he’d get off on it. 

Oct 22nd

If I had to describe us in one word. 

Inseparable. 

I don’t know why I’m so attached to him. Why I feel so incomplete without him. I can’t imagine being without him for hours let alone days. Not sure how I got to this space. Allowing myself to become so dependent on him. 

Wednesday, November 1, 2023

November 1st

 Wow so much to write about.


Went on the cruise, I would not say it was HORRIBLE but it wasn’t as great as the Disney cruise. It was fun.. lots and lots of sex. One bad moment when I wasn’t feeling well and he thought I was ignoring him. But I thought he was sleeping and I felt like crap. Got a bit seasick… went to Catalina island got golf carts. Loved it… went to Ensenada same thing as December. Got a starbies cup… won $600 at the casino


Disneyland Was amazing. Loved the hotel beautiful hotel.


Went straight to Disneyland after we dropped off our luggage, And got the disability pass from tomorrowland. Went on a lot of great ride, especially the new Star Wars ones. Ate lots of good food out and then went back to the hotel for more sex of course  Oddly enough, Jason’s daughter was there as well but for some reason we just couldn’t link up with her. But we did see Lisa, so that worked.


The next day we went to Disneyland, California adventures went on a bunch of rides, could not find breakfast for him to save my life. Around midday, we left, and went back to the hotel, and hung out in the hot tub loved every moment of it, and of course more sex, he passed out pretty early so I stayed up and watched the fireworks and I could see them through the window of our hotel and it was amazing. The next morning he woke up angry because I didn’t wake him up for the fireworks but I didn’t know he wanted to wake up so too bad. So sad . 


The next day we headed to Disneyland because we were leaving that day back to home and we caught quite a few rides before we had to head out to the airport. Everything was great we ate had lots of amazing things to eat, and to drink and actually the entire Disneyland trip was amazing, better than I would’ve imagined he was hardly ever grouted to your grumpy, so I definitely think we can go back to Disneyland. 


Came back to Sacramento rented a car, a mini Cooper drove back to Vallejo and that was it. That was our vacation. I loved every moment of it even if the cruise was kind of shitty but spending time with him alone focused on us was great it wasn’t quite as intense Monterey, but I don’t think it can always be like that and that’s OK 


So I signed the paperwork for Delta star interviewed for the physician and Vacaville and I am still waiting to hear back. Went to a meeting. Alexis came by and picked up her stitch gift. I think that’s it. There’s not really much else other than Jay, being so excited, I want to casino he wanted to marry me right away, but of course, that disappeared as soon as we got off the boat, which was not a surprise. But at least now when he says when we get married instead of if we get married, so that’s a big improvement. 

Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Oct 18th

Jessica is 21… I can’t believe it. 

So looks like I have a legit job offer in Vacaville. One I know I can handle. And I want that one. Never mind the Sam Carlos one. With the higher pay. 

Jay was sleep walking last night. I think he peed on the floor? Left the door open and was saying something about a light? He also mixed up his night with his day meds. 

We had sex today but I can tell planned sex. Doesn’t work. He wasn’t into it and neither was I. So no more of that. 

His best friends mom died. So many deaths in October. It’s overwhelming. 

Monday, October 16, 2023

Oct 16th

Chocolate. Strawberry syrup and ice. 

I love this man. He pleases me in ways I’ve never thought possible. Licking me. Touching me. He’s doing things on his own now. Exploring and trying new things. How could I not love him?

Yesterday’s surprise revelation? “I’d marry you tomorrow if it didn’t impact the social security” and if we decide we don’t care about that money. We’ll get married. 

Todays? Bring our matching hoodies on the cruise. 🥰🥰🥰 Gawd I love him so freaking much 

Story

As she approached the club, her heels clicking along the sidewalk, she admired the brick facade of the building. There was something so charming about a building that utilized bricks. The deep red color and the grey tones of the mortar setting it apart from the steel and glass buildings flanking both sides of the club. While the other buildings looked sleek and modern this had a charming inviting look to it. 

The door to the club was currently being guarded by two handsome tall bouncers holding clip boards. As she walked up they greeted her cordially and asked if she had an invitation. She pulled the black linen invitation from her handbag. It looked like it was blank but as the bouncer pulled out his black the words jumped out suddenly on the paper glowing brightly.

Her name, Selene, was engraved in the black light ink. The bouncer checked his clip board, marking off her name and opened the door for her. 

As Selene walked in she could hear the bass from a sultry seductive song being played deep in the building. She walked down a dimly lit hallway which was heavily scented by the dark red roses that were in beautiful crystal vases on tiny tables along the wall. 

She approached another set of doors that automatically swung open. As she stepped into this room… the dance floor was ahead of her with a large bar towards the back of the room, a stair case on either side of the bar. Selene walked further into the room where couples were dancing to the music as she made her way to the bar. 

“Vodka soda” she informed the female bartender who smiled and and quickly returned with her order. 

Selene took the drink and found a table and set of chairs off the dance floor. She settled into the chair taking a sip of the drink while scanning the dance floor. Not seeing anything of interest she leaned back in the chair and looked up to the second floor. The second floor appeared to be more of a balcony where patrons could watch others on the dance floor from a different point of view. As she swept eyes across those watching, he caught her attention. 

He was looking at her with such intensity… she was caught off guard and quickly looked away but not before she caught his smirk. In the dark she could barely make out what he looked like even with the DJ lights flashing and spinning around the room.  She glanced down at her drink and took anothe sip, deciding to keep her eyes on those dancing in front of her. 

A few minutes passed when the hair on her neck prickled and she heard a deep voice in her ear “I’ve never seen you here before.”  
Selene smiled but didn’t reply as the music was so loud he probably would not have heard her unless she shouted in his ear… she shook her head in agreement. She had never been to this club before. 

He pulled the chair out next to her and seated himself next to her. She didn’t look over at him. Didn’t acknowledge his presence. They sat there in silence… watching the dancers. She so badly wanted to glance his way to see what he looked like, however she knew that this would be looked at an invitation for him to talk to her more. So she continued to ignore him. 

She continued to sip on her drink until the glass was empty. He leaned over “Allow me”… 

Grabbed her empty glass and walked back to the bar. Returning quickly with a second vodka soda, placing it on the table in front of her. Selene muttered here thanks… but didn’t touch the glass. He hadn’t sat back down and was standing just out of her peripheral vision… When he spoke so close to her ear, her hair moved. “Dance with me”. 

Selene began to shake her head no, when he walked in front of her and grabbed her hand. Tugging her to an upright position. 

Reluctantly she allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. He was taller than her, which isn’t surprising. At only 5’2” seems everyone is taller. He appeared to be 5’9”. Light blue dress shirt with dark blue dress pants. He turns towards her on the dance floor pulling her towards him. His intense looks multiplied due to the lack of space between them. Her entire body is pressed against him. Feeling his body warmth… she inhales his scent. Musky… woodsy… very masculine. His hands on her waist while she placed hers on his shoulders. 
They dance to slow melodic music… Selene’s center of attention is on this man in front of her, when he presses his groin against her lower abdomen… feeling his hard impressive cock against her, heat radiate from her core while settling between her thighs, drawling heat and wetness from her center. She looks up into his intense eyes, feeling her arousal grow. 
He gently grasps her hand and leads her away from the dance floor to one of 3 hallways… The VIP section. He nods to the bouncer while tapping a key card against the security door… the doors open automatically and close behind us as we enter the hallway. 
Still holding her hand he leads her deeper into the abyss. This hallway is also painted in black… with more roses and tea light candles flickering to provide enough light to navigate safely. 
We pass by a window… the room within is bathed in red light… I can see a woman, naked with her arms tied above her while another woman dressed in latex and leather with a cat o nine tales in her hand. 
I smile at them… nothing unusual to see in this night club… It’s also considered a sex club… members only with strict rules being followed and maintained to allow for anonymity and safety. 
We approach another door and when he presses his card key against the security panel the door opens up. 
We walk in with him still holding my hand. The door closes and he turns and walks toward me pressing me against the door. 
He leans down bringing his face so close to hers she can feel and smell his breath. She inhales deeply breathing in his scent as her heart rate starts to race. He is pressed up against her knee to breasts. She can feel all the contours of his body while he looks at her. She tilts her chin up in a challenge and he leans in closer to smell her neck, her hair. Chills run up her back as she gasps from the intense reaction her body has to his closeness. 
He brings his lips to her ear and suddenly it seems as if the world completely falls away. There is only him. He kisses her neck softly and she sighs and leans into him. His hand moves up from her waist to cup her breast and she can’t help but moan. Closing her eyes letting her body relax. He takes a strap of her dress pulling it down over her shoulder, exposing her breast. While maintaining eye contact he crouches down and flicks his tongue over her nipple, she starts to close her eyes and he tells her “No. Eyes on me”. Her eyes snap open and focus on his dark eyes as his mouth closes around her nipple. She moans and arches her back but she continues the eyes contact while her hands wrap around the back of his head. His other hand pulling down the other strap exposing her other breast. His tongue flicking over her nipple and sucking and pulling as well. She can feel how wet she is getting as her scent not only fills the air but her juices start to run down her leg. His hand reaches between her thighs… feeling her wetness as he straightens up… leaning in to kiss her collarbone. His fingertip gently pulling her inner folds apart as he finds her clitoris. His fingers circling and flicking her most sensitive spot… his mouth finally finding hers.