Thanksgiving 2023

I’ve had a lot of rough days. Today being yet another one to add to this list. I can barely remember what last year was. Olivia was a year old. Jerrolyn hosted her first thanksgiving Christmas at her house. She was so disappointed because so many family members didn’t end up going. She was so frustrated. 

We were weeks away from the Disney cruise. I was so excited for that. Allan was able to play with Olivia for a short amount of time. Emily got glitter all over the house. 

It’s just so crazy how my life has completely changed. Not only do I not recognize my life now but I never would have imagined it. It just doesn’t seem real. I always feel as if I could lose it all. 

I do wish I could have spent time with Glenn at least. But he was doing his thing and I wasn’t sure if Jay would be okay with me inviting anyone except my kids. But Glenn was cooking already. So that wasn’t possible  but maybe for Christmas? Or something around it. 

Breath. Don’t let jerrolyn get to you. I’m not going to any of her functions until we talk. I’m not going to keep acting like nothing happened, I don’t like the way she handles this every time. It just keeps happening over and over again. 

He just made a popping sound and with his mouth and the walls of my vagina responded? WTH 

November 2nd

The most unique thing about our relationship? I know with no doubt there is NOTHING he wouldn’t do for me. I’ve never felt like that with anyone. Anything I want or need him to do? He’d do it. No questions asked. To be honest I think the more challenging the demand the more he’d get off on it. 

Oct 22nd

If I had to describe us in one word. 

Inseparable. 

I don’t know why I’m so attached to him. Why I feel so incomplete without him. I can’t imagine being without him for hours let alone days. Not sure how I got to this space. Allowing myself to become so dependent on him. 

November 1st

 Wow so much to write about.

Went on the cruise, I would not say it was HORRIBLE but it wasn’t as great as the Disney cruise. It was fun.. lots and lots of sex. One bad moment when I wasn’t feeling well and he thought I was ignoring him. But I thought he was sleeping and I felt like crap. Got a bit seasick… went to Catalina island got golf carts. Loved it… went to Ensenada same thing as December. Got a starbies cup… won $600 at the casino

Disneyland Was amazing. Loved the hotel beautiful hotel.

Went straight to Disneyland after we dropped off our luggage, And got the disability pass from tomorrowland. Went on a lot of great ride, especially the new Star Wars ones. Ate lots of good food out and then went back to the hotel for more sex of course  Oddly enough, Jason’s daughter was there as well but for some reason we just couldn’t link up with her. But we did see Lisa, so that worked.

The next day we went to Disneyland, California adventures went on a bunch of rides, could not find breakfast for him to save my life. Around midday, we left, and went back to the hotel, and hung out in the hot tub loved every moment of it, and of course more sex, he passed out pretty early so I stayed up and watched the fireworks and I could see them through the window of our hotel and it was amazing. The next morning he woke up angry because I didn’t wake him up for the fireworks but I didn’t know he wanted to wake up so too bad. So sad . 

The next day we headed to Disneyland because we were leaving that day back to home and we caught quite a few rides before we had to head out to the airport. Everything was great we ate had lots of amazing things to eat, and to drink and actually the entire Disneyland trip was amazing, better than I would’ve imagined he was hardly ever grouted to your grumpy, so I definitely think we can go back to Disneyland. 

Came back to Sacramento rented a car, a mini Cooper drove back to Vallejo and that was it. That was our vacation. I loved every moment of it even if the cruise was kind of shitty but spending time with him alone focused on us was great it wasn’t quite as intense Monterey, but I don’t think it can always be like that and that’s OK 

So I signed the paperwork for Delta star interviewed for the physician and Vacaville and I am still waiting to hear back. Went to a meeting. Alexis came by and picked up her stitch gift. I think that’s it. There’s not really much else other than Jay, being so excited, I want to casino he wanted to marry me right away, but of course, that disappeared as soon as we got off the boat, which was not a surprise. But at least now when he says when we get married instead of if we get married, so that’s a big improvement.