Dec 18

I’m sitting here. Downstairs. Eating rice bbq pork noodles and staring at a mail package full of new satin boxers for Jay. Watching him walk around in boxers I’ve picked. Ones that I choose. I don’t know why that makes me even more feral for him. There is something so intoxicating knowing while we’re out that he’s wearing those satin boxers. Sliding over his skin. Caressing him. I have NEVER been so physically attuned to someone. 

The craziest part about our relationship… the part that makes this seem so unreal is how Jay goes out of his way to please me. Finding new ways to pleasure me. He treats me like I’m an assignment he has to get perfect. The more he gets to know my body the more addicted I am to his touch. I’m on my period and I’m still fantasizing about his touch. 

Daily… I mean every day I look at him still. Amazed. I’m shocked by how much I love him. How much I’m in love with him. How easy it was to fall in love with him. By texting alone. How is this my life??? How did I end up with someone so perfect for me… in every way possible. His possessiveness drove me crazy before but now? I love it. How territorial he is. How I know at any moment of the day he’s thinking of me if I’m not there with him. I’ve never been with someone as dedicated to me as Jay has always been. Note that I’m older I can appreciate it for exactly what it is. His need to keep me safe and protected. SMH. He woke up… realized I was sitting up and was worried something was wrong and then when I reassured him I was fine proceeded to tell me if I need anything to tell him and he’ll get it 🥹 he was out. Completely asleep. No one has ever cared for me like he does. Consistently.