So this weekend was super busy. Friday I went to Jay’s house. I needed to see him… went to red lobster. Snuggles all night. Slept nearly 12 hours 🙄
Saturday we meet with Jessica. I like her. She is sweet and funny. Jay has low tolerance listening to her. He’s having a really hard time on the Wellbutrin. Difficulty maintaining a conversation and forgets things mid sentence. I’m worried about him for sure. I need to remind him today to stop taking those meds.
We went to dinner after. With everyone. Jerrolyn Darren Olivia Eddie Jessica Sam ria Cary Emily and my step mom. Jay was having a bit of a rough time. He gets clumsy when he’s nervous. This will sound weird but seeing him nervous, makes me more confident in us. No matter what he says. I know impressing my family mattered to him. I love him even more for that.
He made a point to tell me he loved me. He doesn’t do that often… But I love when in moments of silence, that’s what he says. Before taking us to the airport he realized he was going to miss me.
Today was great!! Jessica did so much better. We are definitely getting that disabled pass every time. The rides took minutes to get on. It was awesome.
I messaged Jay as much as I could. Talked to him on the phone. Trying to be there for him as much as possible. I really really want to go with him. Just me and him. I’d plan every aspect of the day… while making sure he doesn’t get overwhelmed or stressed out. I want to make the trip as enjoyable as possible. Certain rides we went on, I could imagine him there, with me. Just being cute or obnoxiously inappropriate… even though I’d pretend I was mad, I’d secretly love every moment of it.
I’m always amazed how much I love him. How much I need him. How much I want to share every aspect of me… to him and with him. How the hell did I get this lucky?
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