Weak...
If my grandmother knew how much I actually need Jay, that is exactly what she would have said to me. Yet, here I am. Needing him more than I ever imagined possible. Needing and wanting him all wrapped up in a single emotion. Now that the sexual tension is finally lessening, thank you for that, we are stabilizing. I am grateful that intensity is gone. Not that I do not still want him, in that way, but now I am not blind with want.
Tomorrow, I get to see him tomorrow. And cuddles and his smell, just sleeping wrapped up and squished by him. Which I actually love, I feel grounded when he does that. Better than a weighted blanket for sure.
State job... I am getting so close to getting the HELL out of here
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