Every day...
I wait for the day when it gets a little easier. Sometimes it feels like it IS going to be a better day but then something will drag me right back to the darkness. There are days now I just want to stay in the darkness out of the light. Where I do not have to face the reality that you are gone and my mind screaming a thousand different regrets and what ifs.
It gets so loud in my head now.
I hear less of your voice now. Although if I just think about your voice, I can easily still hear you. For this I am grateful. I have always loved your deep voice. It soothed me even when you were emotional over something.
Leaning into you and hear your voice muffled through your body was even deeper. Resonated differently and was so much deeper. That I miss the most. Snuggling up to you and listening to you talk while I drifted off to sleep.
I miss you in every way possible. I am driving your car today... I cannot even bring myself to clean your car. Dave will help me clear out the storage unit this weekend. I will go through it and let him take all the music items and then drop off items for Randy and Zsa.
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