I’ve survived one month without you
I did not want to. With my rare heart condition I’d hoped I would not.
But I need to get Jessica set up for success. My heart is still breaking. It’s so surreal to me. The pain of losing you. I’m searching for connections… in every possible way. You love me. I know you do. I’m your password!!! We are your passwords. Your kisses. Your touches. I fucking know you love me. I have NEVER doubted you but now I am???
Why? What is wrong with me. I miss you so much. The ache inside of me so intense. I never thought I could be this sad. I thought losing my dad was the worst. Or even my grandmother but Allan. This is so much worse. I want to die. I’m hoping I die. I don’t want a life without you. This was not what our lives were supposed to be.
It was me and you. Handling our lives. Day by day. Soon it would have been just you and me. I was looking forward to it. We never got there.
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