May 24th

 I think anyone, widow, widower even significant other, when their person passes away, if that person meant something to them, in their grief they lose their identity. 

So let me explain, when you live with someone and they are part of your day to day routines, losing them suddenly, unexpectedly means that your entire life changes, has to change. 

It can be something as small as the sharing of chores and can be as big as now being a sole provider. Regardless of how your routine changes, it changes, in an instant. Your brain, in all of its wisdom goes into a downward spiral as it not only copes with the loss of that person but also the change in your routine. The loss is then prevalent in any and every way, making the grief so much more difficult to manage. You just want to crawl under the covers and cry, but you cannot, because you have to figure out how to fill in the gaps they have now left in your life. 

There are a lot of them and some of them more impactful than others. One I have a HUGE gripe about:

The sudden loss of medical insurance. My husband passed away on the 27th of April, a Thursday and by Sunday, we no longer had benefits because it was the end of the month. I cannot blame the company he worked for, for 20 years, oh no. They did not do this and in fact they offered to pay for 90 days worth of medical benefits. It was his union, Teamsters 856. 

I was lucky, I work, fulltime and I was able to get benefits on the following Monday.

Not everyone is this fortunate, and I think it is something that needs to be acknowledged. I do not think that 4 days is enough time to deal with medical benefits. I do not even think one week is long enough, there should at MINIMUM be 2 weeks to get those into place due to the passing of the benefit holder. My husband worked for this company for 20 years! They couldn't give me time to get that all into place? I am the most level headed planner and my grief while debilitating at times, I was still able to manage getting plans into place and propelling myself forward. I am sure younger widows/widowers with young children would be even more exhausted and overwhelmed with the sheer amount of responsibility now placed on them.