Not just love but a love that I know will last. Because with Allan, it was everything.
J. Is not only everything, but we are even more compatible even with one huge difference. J. is going to also be taking care of me. Unlike with Allan and I where I took care of us, J and I are equals. I think the more we discuss, the more we agree. This relationship will be everything I’ve ever wanted. So even though the texting is driving me mad because off how much I want him, I know we are building a relationship, foundations for us. Telling him what I need. What I want before we’ve even begun.
I also know if for some reason he can’t perform sexually. He’s going to do whatever it takes for me to be satisfied. It’s going to take a lot. My entire body is on fire.
His ego. I know he surpresses it. But I always thought that made him even more sexy. His confidence… he’s reminding me of my own. He’s killing my with it. I remember being able to pull any guy I wanted.
That’s just not me. Not anymore.
I know happiness is not found in multiple partners, lovers and affairs. It’s found in deep emotional connections. I want a life long love with someone who checks off all my boxes.
I can tolerate his having children especially since mine have become obsessive. I won’t be marrying him so I won’t be third wife. Those were the only two things that weren’t checked off but I need to get over that.
Goddess please. Give me a life long love that fills my needs and my wants.
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