“I love our relationship”
“I think I’m falling in love with you all over again”
His words.
I want the commitment before I’m naked.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you. As your best friend and life partner. Not just or only your girlfriend. You are the rest of my life. I don’t need marriage or to have your last name. We’ve done that before with others. We know what we have is not only special, and unique but so intense the fire between us can't burn out.
Right here right now. I promise to be yours Jay. There will be no one else… I will be faithful to you. To us, until death.
You take my breath away. You hold my heart in your hands. You make me excited to wake up every morning and knowing that you love me soothes my fears at night.
I promise to tell you what I need, and to let you be there for me. I promise to let you take care of me and protect me. I will provide you everything you need and more, I will take care of you and protect you.
If something happens to me before you, you have my permission to move on. I want you to be happy.
I want you. I want us. I fell in love with you when I was only 21 and I did not know how important you were to me then. Almost 30 years later, the impact you had over my life proves how important you were in my past, my every day now and my future.
I love you Jason Bruce Martinez
I need to learn how to let him take care of me. That was easy, before. I loved him doing things for me before. Then my dad died and I was left without him, then my grandmother the only person who could take care of me, was me. I know he is sincere... I know how much he wants to take care of me, how much he needs to do that for me. Just not sure I can just let him, and secretly there is a part of me so excited for him to take care of me. Knowing that I will be taken care of, loved and protected. Especially protected. I have NEVER felt more safe than with Jay. I love how I do things to him he has not felt in years. Me, I am doing that. With only words.
I definitely feel like Sunday will be interesting. Kissing him, I wonder how we will resist tearing each other apart. When he talks about all the things he wants to do... it makes every part of me throb for him. When we talk about the time before... and the nightclubs and me always going home with him. Everytime after we would have sex, after school more sex. We had a lot of it in that short amount of time. I know he is worried about his performance... he could not possibly disappoint me. If if he cums quickly I KNOW he will make sure I am taken care of. Him loosing himself to me? That is a compliment. It is even more of a compliment how he is responding to me. Being so turned on.
So lets go over the after the ceremony... I hope I can write this all out.
I am going to let him kiss me. Then tell him he needs to sit on the bed with the blind fold on after he turns off the lights.
I will go and change brush my teeth and climb on his lap. Then I will explain the rules: Really only one, he can't touch me unless I tell him to.
I want to start with light kisses. Then begin nibbling on him. Talking him through it. Whispering my need in his ear. Rubbing against him. Not kissing him quite yet.
Then I want to kiss him... holding him against me. Pressed as close as possible. Telling him he can touch me now, lightly... no mouth just his hands. Then I can stand up, pulling down the nightgown, letting him go at my breasts. First his hands, teaching him how to roll my nipples. While his mouth is on the other one sucking nibbling, biting and pulling. Then I want his fingers inside of me. When I can't stand anymore I am going to push him down on the bed and climb on his face.. God Do I want to do that again so badly. But I need to slowly and softly kiss him from his feet to his face. Undressing him. Touching him everywhere lightly.
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